Watching porn is really a rite of passage for some men. It begins with several visuals, like this proverbial Playboy magazine several friends passes around well before they are old enough to learn what it all means. Eventually a young man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. In fact, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might become a man’s first foray into determining good penis care.

But when a man begins to take pleasure from pleasure with someone outside of the screen, he is all too often disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bedroom. For the uninitiated, here are a few things to never actually be prepared to translate from the screen to the bed room.

1) Perfect bodies. All the participants in a porn video are usually very young and healthy. And if they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to hide any flaws. The result is the belief that a woman should look a certain way, and a guy should too. That can definitely lead to disappointment in the bedroom.

2) Instant hardness. Men in porn are very rarely seen in a flaccid state. The moment a woman walks over the screen, they’re hard enough to crush diamonds. The truth is that most porn productions work with a ‘fluffer’ – a female whose only job is to get yourself a man hard before he walks onscreen. What is apparently ‘instant’ really is just an illusion.

3) She gets off fast. Ladies in porn seem to feel as though every touch is orgasmic, and they appear to have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The simple truth is very different. Women usually need a very specific kind of stimulation, for much more than just a few seconds, in order to get turned on – significantly less to get off.

4) Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled with aural stimulation, which is section of why most guys think it’s great so much. And who wouldn’t? The thing is that women aren’t really likely to make noises like that in the sack. Sure, they might be enthusiastic and make some noise, but the sounds in a porn film won’t likely be replicated in the bedroom.

5) Money shots. Here’s a fascinating stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere other than the vagina 81 percent of the time. Most of the time they do it on her behalf body or mostly, her face. The problem is that 80 percent of women in real life report not liking that one move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t expect to replicate this.

6) Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? The same thing is true of a woman who is able to do wild things in porn, like anal intercourse without any preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the problem has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t expect to replicate things like this!

Staying ready for the real thing

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